Sunday ...sunday

I was really getting a message from church yeaterday when they came and go tme out of the sanctuary. Teddy who I had dressed so cute in shorts overalls had a blow out. There was piles of poop on the floor, in his pants, on his shoes....I got it cleaned up as well as possible and they finished it off. I was in tears by the time we left. On the upside he sure likes going outside right now and does a good job staying with us. LAst year he was like a hunting dog headed for the horizon!

autism-not the road I expected to be on....

I keep waiting for a child to show up who talks and eats more than chicken. He's not coming for a while....I have a sweet little guy who is affectionate, independant (as a kid like him can be) and inquisitive (in his own way) about the world. He looks like a regular child (till he starts flapping and posturing and making his noise. )
I cried for the first time a bit the other night. I am trying to be strong and believe that God will re-route this boy's brain. He is not dying, he has a high IQ, he is beautiful to gaze upon and lovely to hug and kiss...why am I grieving?????? Because I want a "normal" child. I feel God is forgetting about us down here...where's MY miracle? I am tired of smiling for the world to be a good witness. I am tired, scared, and sad.